Shot For Me

Wed, Dec. 21st, 2011 01:02 am
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[personal profile] allnostalgia

That Sunday isn't any ordinary Sunday as one would have liked to think. It is their third wedding anniversary. He wakes up alone again to a text message saying, "I'm coming home for lunch, love." With a kiss face.

Jaejoong doesn't know what he wants in that moment. He is so used to being alone that thinking up a decent meal is out of his system. He dials Junsu's number instead. "Su, he's coming home for lunch. I think today's a special day, what should I make?"

"You moron, it’s your anniversary, check your calendar. Oh, I don't know, make anything! He better appreciate anything you make, if you know what I mean."

"Shit. I don't have anything here. I haven't gone real grocery shopping since I invited you over. Come with me, please?"

"Sure, I'm not doing anything."

"I'll pick you up in a jiffy."


They walk along the isles distractedly, Junsu talking to him about stuff at work and Jaejoong reacting and nodding absent-mindedly. His best friend asks him how he'd been doing with the dancing and how come he doesn't call to meet up that often anymore. To that Jaejoong says, "I've been afloat these days, Yunho says. And hungover, and exhausted. The weeks seem to go by faster, like everything's slipping through my fingers, I don't even feel it."

"Something is terribly wrong with you," Junsu replies worriedly, "How long have you been on bad terms with-"

"You mean how long has my marriage been invisible? Or how long this recent issue has been going on?"

"The issue, unless the night you called me up was the same night you told him everything."

"Same, it’s not like I can keep anything from you, you know." Jaejoong sighs.

"So then, how's Yunho?"

"He's good, I mean, he's the first person to ever teach me dance successfully. That's saying something, right?"

"I meant, you know. He's been eyeing you since you started training and you admitted he's hot."

"Can we talk about this in the car?"

"Ooooooh~ Why?"

"Because!" Jaejoong blushes, "Get me some of those tomatoes, please? Make yourself useful."

"Yes, sir." Junsu pushes the cart for him, "You know, you have about an hour and a half before he gets home."

"Fine, that's probably enough." Jaejoong heaves a sigh and Junsu pinches his cheeks, "Probably? That's gonna take forever at the check-out counter!" His eyes roam the pile of random food on and ingredients that filled the cart to the brim.


They finish shopping and loading the food in the car. Jaejoong gets in and waits for Junsu to shut the door before telling him what has been on his mind.

"That's sweet, I think." Junsu listens to his past week attentively, laughing at some awkward parts where Jaejoong fails. "But trust me, he's not getting on your good side for nothing. And if those words were not drops of hints that he's desperate to save you then I don't know what they are."

"Su, he knows I'm married." Jaejoong defends himself.

"He also knows that this marriage is on the rocks. It’s the perfect timing."

"But wouldn't that be unfair?" He snaps his head at him.

"Why would it?- Focus on the road!- Unless you like him back?"

"N-no, but, he's been great. You know, he's a very good listener and he doesn't take things on a personal level most of the time. He keeps his head above his heart."

Junsu smiles as he proves that the more Jaejoong defends himself, or tries to, the more he knows this might be going somewhere it’s not supposed to be. But it’s exciting.

"You've really gotten to know each other now, huh?"

"How would we not? Tell me."

"Stop feigning disinterest, Jae, I know you better than anyone else."

"I don't know!" He exclaims, "That, too, he says I'm always uncertain about a lot of things and that I should fix it."

"Why do you always care what he thinks?" Junsu whispers loud enough for Jaejoong to hear.


He gets home after dropping Junsu off at the usual cafe. He prepares everything for lunch as he fills the cupboards with what Junsu had randomly placed into the cart earlier (as he labeled them healthy).

He plans on making Seafood Alfredo, as Junsu had suggested when he saw the tiny squids at the grocer. Chopping up ingredients and heating up the stove, Jaejoong smiles at the memory of how he used to do this so often. Until the time came that the food had gotten spoiled because the person whom it was served to always came home too late.

As he finishes cooking, Jaejoong hears the door swing open, revealing his husband with an uneasy smile on his handsome face. "Hey, baby," he walks idly to Jaejoong and embraces him, the same warmth engulfing the beautiful man for years hasn't changed.

"Come on, Italian food is served," he says as the sweet memories of how this was their daily routine make him giddy, he places a chaste kiss on his mouth.

It was a little feast they enjoyed, Jaejoong received a gift from him and again, he didn't know what to think of it. He badly wanted him to stay the rest of the day but his heart was found hesitating because he felt stupid. If he wanted to stay, he would have said so, he thinks.

And as he sends him off back to work, he curls in on himself on the couch, not minding the television shows that flashed on. There is nothing to do for hours on end. He lays back before calling on Junsu again, "Are you wandering off somewhere outdoors?"

"What happened?" Junsu sighs.


Jaejoong thinks Junsu's brain doesn't work quite like everybody else's. One moment he's tough and ready to pounce on anyone who tries to get their hands on him and Jaejoong, next thing you know he's a motherly figure, in the most unlikely situations. Like right now.

"You should've just ravished him, you know. Surprise! I don't want you to go back to work! If you're going to do something then it best be me!" Junsu says, "Think of it as an anniversary present!"

"That's one of the problems, Su. You see, I don't feel like doing anything like that with him. And I'm scared that if I do that, it'll become the only thing holding our marriage together. Call me some hopeless romantic, I don't care. I wouldn't go through lengths of trying to save what's left of us only to fall back on that."

"I've told you once before to give him an ultimatum because you can't wait forever. Tell him he's not the only person out there willing to love you. If not, there are people out there waiting for a chance to give you what you deserve! If he doesn't wake up soon enough, your dance instructor will make it to your heart in no time, won't he?"

Jaejoong stares at him, feeling sheepish.


"We'll take a rest from all the accentuated steps we've done last week," Yunho introduces him to a dance routine he's quite familiar with.

That night, Yunho is calm. "I believe they teach you this in high school." he says, "The waltz?"

Jaejoong nods, slightly cringing from the memory of dancing with the girl who almost killed his feet. Now he's worried of doing the same thing to Yunho.

He stands in front of the other man firmly. His hands on his sides. "We'll get on the footwork first, hm? Count one, two, three… One, two, three…" Easy enough, Jaejoong follows the choreography and gets into the rhythm of the man's voice beside him.

"Try it while moving forward," Yunho takes his hand in his and they move back and forth, "Easy, hm?"

"Now the first thing you have to remember when you face your partner is that you don't look down to your feet. Look at his face, and if you're not comfortable with that, look past his shoulder." He places Jaejoong's left hand over his shoulder and the other on his palm, as his own right hand goes to support the other man's arm over his as he touches his upper back. "Relax, start with your left foot forward, hm? One, two, three…" He counts slowly.

Gradually, the steps get a little more complex. Lifts here and there, turning, moving away and pulling back onto his partner's chest. The music had a classical flare, a little faster than counting.

They take a break halfway through. Jaejoong drinks from his bottle of water and sits back on the floor. They haven't really talked again. Come to think of it he never really initiated starting a conversation with the other man, and every time they spoke, it is always about his boring life at home. "You're quiet today." He says randomly.

Yunho smirks. "Well, what do you want to talk about? I don't think it helps you when we talk about your problems. You get distracted from dancing, I noticed."

"I don't know. Something else?" He eyes him, hinting that he wants to talk about Yunho instead.

"You want to get to know me now?"

"But if you don't want to, it’s fine. For one thing, I only know you’re passionate about this career of yours."

"That's a yes, I see." Yunho sits in front of him, "Ask away, whatever you want to know, I'll tell you honestly."

"Like Twenty Questions?"

"Isn't that like a date game? You know…" Yunho attempts to tease.

"Yeah, except we're simply on break time." Jaejoong smiles sincerely for the first time since they met, "What got you into dancing?"

"Chance," Yunho fondly recalls how it all began. "I never really knew I had the talent until one of my middle school buddies dragged me to some street dance battle. They pressured me into trying out for a group with them back then. At first I thought it was just lucky that I got in, but the longer I stayed in studios and warehouses, the more it grew on me. I got curious as to how far I could go and how much I could learn until I got callbacks and workshops."

"That's nice. So you seem really contented and happy."

"Yeah, but what happens when I can't dance anymore? When I'm not strong enough to teach or perform anymore, right? I need a life aside from this, too. I used to be in theatre," Yunho continues. "Choreography and blocking seemed to be the perfect job for me, but it was all affairs left and right. I don't know if it’s really in actors to play around like that but…anyway, it’s a stupid part of my past. I learned a lot."

"That's where you pull your confidence, don't you?" Jaejoong asks.

"Yeah, actually. That's the use of your prime, isn't it? The thought that you've reached that point in your life, there was a time when you were on top of your game and that you've achieved that much, there's nothing you can't do. But that's just you."

"What did your family say about it?"

"Mom was fine with it. Pops went hysterical. Usual paternal expectations. My brothers convinced him otherwise."

"That's sweet of them," he unthinkingly says, "We wouldn’t be be here today if your dad got his way."

Yunho takes a little time before reacting to that, convincing himself that it means nothing. "Yeah, probably." He looks at Jaejoong, "Jae, what do you think of me?"

"I used to think you were egotistical. You know, like you were hitting on me the first day…" Jaejoong stops at the thought. "Anyway, maybe you were just used to people hanging around you, swooning."

Yunho scratches his nape thoughtfully. "How about now?"

"You'll be a good friend, if you're okay with that." Jaejoong looks at him expectantly, "You're a good guy, Yunho. If one takes time to look past just the face."

Yunho contains himself after hearing good words about him from this man. Maybe it proved that he was actually capable of putting someone on a pedestal for him to adore. He can't say love, because that's probably wishful thinking. To find it in someone else's struggle was possibly selfish but he doesn't detest it.

They talk more about their pasts before the reality of life settles among them with age, to those times when they were still too young to give a rat's ass about worldly problems. It was a turning moment, probably, to share part of what's made you who you are now. But it was easy for them to talk about it. Time flies past them unknowingly until Jaejoong's phone rings from the depths of his duffle bag.

"Yes?" He answers, a smidgen of excitement in his voice.

"Did you bring your car?" His husband asks.

"Yeah, why?"

"Alright, I'll pick you up, okay? Wait for me. Might take a while, I'm walking."

"Oh, okay. See you later!"

"Would you like to dance? You know, before this night ends." Yunho doesn't ask about the phone call because it irks him. The burning emotions rising in his throat aren't supposed to be there but what can he do? They dance a round of the waltz Jaejoong had relearned that meeting and it feels crudely romantic.

They are swaying to the sounds of the string instruments, falling back into the rhythm and Yunho smiles. Hope sinks into the instructor's mind and as long as it’s there, all he should keep doing is to keep his mind over this matter of possibilities.

It might have been the underlying affection that gets to him. When you expect to fall face flat but a pair of waiting arms break that moment, things change. It is the absence of sensuality that tricks his mortified sensibility into that well of temptation. It is one of the wrongs he's been on a spree of lately but it is the first time he choses to be.

As the dance finishes, a bow and curtsey is done. Jaejoong lifts his head with a smile and he doesn't move away when Yunho leans in to kiss him on the lips none-too-innocently.


It is a brand new month, he notices. Well, not until his husband talks to him over breakfast the following day. "I've rearranged my schedule." He says, "I've talked my boss into agreeing to it. I go to work at ten, and leave at six, sharp. No more, no less."

"Really?" Jaejoong seems to still be afloat. "I'm glad."

"Babe, is something wrong?"

"Nothing, love, what could be wrong? You're back!"

"Well, you've been spacing out since last night. I passed it off as you being tired, but after sleeping that long…"

"Maybe, I'm just-"

"Are you still mad at me?"

"H-huh? I don't know. Maybe not mad, just, still doubtful. Maybe." And he wasn't sure if he was referring to his husband or himself.


He's at Junsu's the following Monday, panicking.

"What exactly happened?" Junsu asks, still a bit groggy from drinking the past night away.

"I don't know what made me do it, Su. It was just too quiet that night and the silence was making me notice every little thing he does. I asked him a few questions about himself and then we went for hours just flying from one topic to another. Like…"

"Like you've known each other for a long time?"

"Yes! And then he asked me what I thought about him." Jaejoong continues, "I told him what I honestly thought about him from the beginning and then now."

"What were your exact words?"

"I told him I thought he was egotistical at first. And then, I might have tactlessly mentioned him hitting on me on the first meeting. And then, I said, he's a good guy if one took time to look past his pretty face. Of course, I didn't say he was pretty."

"If you read between the lines, you know that's almost giving him a go signal." Junsu yawns before he finishes saying what he thinks. "You acknowledged his first attempt at you, Jae, you took the time to get to know him past that egotistical face you so mindlessly described. That would give him the confidence to push you to your limit. And you're letting him."

"What do I do?" Jaejoong whines, "I’m meeting him again later! Am I supposed to act indifferent again?"

"No, Jae, that was when you absolutely loathed his existence. Now, that'll seem like you're playing around, and he'd like that. It’s like a game, right? And you're the prize! Too bad you're married. It would have been fun, romantic, if you weren't."


"You talk about it. But before you do that, you think. Your husband will be waiting for you at home tonight. Waiting for your classes to be over and then fetch you like the good husband you wanted him to be. Now, tell me, Jae, how would you face your husband and smile at him, kiss him goodnight or whatever it is you do before you sleep, when in the back of your mind, there's a growing spot that's dedicated to Yunho?"

"I can't do that. You know I love him."

"Do you love only him?"

"Of course, I do!"

"If you insist." Junsu shrugs. "Think about what you're going to tell your hot piece of a dance instructor before you start talking. If you've known him well, then you'll know how his mind works. But don't open it up unless he does." Junsu stares at Jaejoong, the smile creeping up his face. "But how was he? Was he good?"


"Give me my reward for saving your invisible ass, again."

Jaejoong tilts his head down, hiding the blush on his cheeks, "He takes the lead. He tastes like, I can't put a finger on what exactly, but it makes you shiver."

"Holy fuck, you liked it that much, you shivered?"

"Why don't you try it out yourself, then?" Jaejoong brazenly defended as the other man jovially laughed, "Oh! I would if I had the chance!"


He walks to the dance studio that afternoon, still contemplating on what had possibly brought it in himself to have entertained Yunho's advances obliviously. He's fidgeting, biting his nails while he walks slower as he gets closer.

He breathes deep and holds the knob before pulling it sideways, revealing his instructor dancing hip-hop. Silently he hopes it isn't his lesson that day. Quietly slinking in, he drops his bag on one side before Yunho notices him arrive.

The music reverberates throughout the whole room, drowning out every other sound. Jaejoong doesn't hear Yunho approach him from behind and he traps him in his arms. Pushing his back onto the closest wall, his breath lingering between their faces, hot and moist. Jaejoong wants to push him away, to explain how wrong everything has turned into before they are both too deep in this messed up pile of emotions, but he is still trying to convince himself that they're not too late.

Yunho presses his lips onto his, gently so that Jaejoong has a choice to return it or not. He counts to ten, and before he even reaches four, Jaejoong is responding experimentally. His body moves closer, his hands move from the slim waist to his back and pulls him in to feel every part of his built body. Jaejoong doesn't want to touch him, maybe it would just make the attraction stronger but his reflexes seem to work faster than he wants them to. He is holding onto Yunho's hair, taking deep struggled breaths through his nose.

Jaejoong pulls away when Yunho's hands began to creep under his shirt. Quite aghast, his face burns in shame and deeper trouble. His eyes brim with tears threatening to fall and he looks up to Yunho with pleading eyes.

"I don't know what I want anymore." He tells him, "I don't know, I'm confused, I feel like I should have just given up on everything in the beginning so nobody gets hurt." He sobs and Yunho's the only one there to lend him comfort.

Yunho knows he's gotten this far to be so bold and not mind ruining another person's marriage, so he might as well go all the way until there's nothing left to fight for. Somewhere along the way he has figured out that Jaejoong doesn't deserve to be played around with, he deserves to be loved and he must feel it, at the same time, he wants to be the man who does all those things for him.

Jaejoong is worth what Jaejoong is worth and it isn't about just anything.

"It's been difficult," he murmurs loud enough for another pair of ears to hear, "I'm running low on faith, lately."

It’s been said countless times, sometimes you have to forget what you want to get what you deserve.


He hears the alarm go off. Followed by a ruffling in the sheets and then the bed grows cold. Jaejoong turns and watches his husband stretch and slowly proceed to the bathroom. He calls his name, and he turns to the man on the bed with a sleepy grin, humming questioningly. "Come back here," Jaejoong's voice is pleading, "I don't want you to go out in this kind of weather."

On sunnier circumstances, the rays would've already been beaming through the slits of the shutters by the time they get up for breakfast. Today, the skies are dim with heavy grey clouds threatening to pour any minute.

"Call me in sick?" his husband suggests. Jaejoong nods fervently, earning a playful chuckle and the other man retreating under the sheets and enclosing him in his arms, kissing his exposed skin and caressing his stomach.

"So how are your dance lessons?" he asks, and Jaejoong's mood sinks.

"Hmm… I've learned a lot," he shrugs it off, "I'll show you some time."

"Not today?" His hands brush against the warm pale skin under his shirt. "Maybe, later, when I'm not too sleepy anymore." Jaejoong’s throat closes as he pushes back against his husband's hard form of sculpted abs and pecs, and his thighs that now have him trapped. He twists his neck and strains a bit to reach for his lips for a loving kiss.

"Hun," Jaejoong whispers, holding his husband's hand in his and squeezing tight, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for everything…"

"Why?" he snuggles onto him, "What's wrong?"

"Please, don't leave me. Ever." He turns to face him and pulls on his shirt, desperately clinging with shaky fingers.

"Baby, I won't ever leave you, what's the matter?" his husband asks.

"I'm just sorry," Jaejoong can't help the sobs coming from his throat anymore, "It's not all just you, and I'm sorry for my faults, too. I love you, I really do, and I'm scared that you won't stay with me."

He pours everything out as he cries, the confusion doesn't easily wash away but as long as he knows there's still everything to come back to at home, he will fix things in himself soon. "I love you too," he hears his words of assurance and finds it easier to believe him now.


The worst part in his struggle is that he isn't supposed to think about whom to choose. He is married, his husband is making his best efforts to patch things up with him and he can see and feel every little development. So why is he fighting for a spot against the man who had made his way into Jaejoong's heart for being the one who's there when his husband wasn't? Every battle becomes harder when emotions get involved, when attachment is established and when the last thing you want to do is hurt them and it’s all inevitable.

But it’s the only way out. Drop it and move on. Go back to what's right. Hope that it makes him happy. Regret nothing.


Jaejoong quits his dance lessons and doesn't attend a the last class to tell Yunho goodbye. He doesn't leave any trace of him and it was as if they never happened. Weeks pass and Jaejoong is getting ahead and returning to the side of his husband and catering to him how he had always wanted to. He went out with Junsu today and they talked about anything and everything, how much had changed ever since. "Last night, he surprised me with a pair of tickets to Macau," he says, "I know he's in it for a business trip but it'll be nice, right?"

"That sounds like a honeymoon, nonetheless." Junsu tells him with a gentle smile on his face, truly happy for his best friend for getting back on track. The issues have long gone, it is refreshing.

"I can't help it, I feel so stupid about smiling all day, it doesn't go down at all."

"I noticed," Junsu laughs at him, "Oh! But how did it go? A couple of nights ago you said you'd tell him everything."

"That, well, I can tell he's hurt, of course, he's human as we are. I told him it’s the reason I quit the lessons. I also told him it wasn't his fault, and that I was being too sensitive but he still feels so guilty that he doesn't press on it. But he asked if I still see Yunho. But I told him of course not, why would I?"

"Speaking of the devil, isn't that Yunho?" Junsu points with a pout.

"I don't know and I don't want to look," Jaejoong says, "Oh now there's something that brings me down."

"He's coming over, keep talking about anything or eat this lemon square… just pretend to be busy and I'll entertain him." Junsu demands, "Keep smiling!"

"Don't ask me to buy you one later, then." He says, trusting the other man to handle everything. He's had enough drama in his life to go back and handle it himself. He gently stabs the pastry with a fork and eats a chunk, the taste and texture making him smile.

"Jaejoong," Yunho calls when he reaches the booth they're in. "I-"

"Hi Yunho," Junsu interrupts with a smile bordering insensitive.

"Hi Junsu, would you mind if I borrow him for a while? I need to talk to him."

"I do, actually, his husband had entrusted him to me today and by the rate you're going with him, I don't think it’s a good idea that I leave you two alone."

Yunho assumes Jaejoong had to tell someone. There is someone else besides him that's there to listen. It hurts, but what can he do? "You can leave now. Bye." Junsu says rudely, "You've ruined his day enough by showing up, don't make it worse."

Yunho pulls Jaejoong up with an arm, aiming to quickly drag him out of the café.

"Ah! Cut it out! Let me go!" Jaejoong shouts, earning scandalized stares from the few people in the café. He takes the chance to pull his arm from the taller man's tight grasp, "I can't-" he hisses, "Just- just forget about everything! I'm trying to get my life back to how I want it so just get out of it!"

"No, see, that's not as easy as you make it seem," Yunho replies softly enough that only they can hear it, coming in closer and hovering dangerously close over Jaejoong's face, "How are you so sure that going back to him will make you content with your life? Huh? You, yourself, you said it yourself that you doubted he'll ever change for you, you doubted him and his love for you and I came to your rescue because I know what you deserve."

Jaejoong cringes at that sour memory, those nights when all he wanted was a little time with the person he shared vows with. Junsu can't interrupt and Yunho looks like he is ready to punch anyone who does. It won't make the situation better.

"Su, let's go, I don't want to get arrested for disturbing the people in here. It’s already bad as it is." Jaejoong says, pulling his arm from Yunho and walking out with Junsu in tow. Yunho follows him, his voice cutting through the air. "I can't just let you walk out on me without hearing me out. Just give me five minutes." He says, pointing to his car. Jaejoong hesitates, then sighs heavily, walking with Yunho to his car.

The moment they are alone, Yunho takes a deep steadying breath, "I wouldn't bother keeping things to myself if I was only going to play around with you. I'm not one to fall in love and just go sacrifice my own goddamn career for someone but I did because I wanted to be there for you." Yunho feels himself calming down little by little because Jaejoong is listening to every word. "And now you're telling me that it was all because you were confused, that your pretty little head was craving for something that your husband hasn't given you in a long time. That's my pride at stake, Jae, and as a man I value that a lot but I let you walk all over it, and you doubt me still?"

"Yunho, stop." Jaejoong is being eaten alive by his conscience. It was wrong to have led him on but he wasn't the only one tricked into that stability. "I'm sorry, I led you on. I'm sorry for being oblivious of your feelings, but I can't do it. I'm married and he's the one I want to wake up to every morning, he's the face I want to see before I sleep, and he's the one I want taking care of me until we're old enough to just wait for our death."

He heaves a sigh at his own outburst, not looking at Yunho to see how he's taking it. "I'm sorry you have to hear all of this from me but know that I've sworn to be friends with you back then. The last thing I want to do is hurt you but I can't help it, you have to get out of that bubble of yours and accept that I'm not the person you're looking for. I love you but not the way you want me to." The silence stretches for a moment. "My friend's waiting for me," Jaejoong says, but he feels a hand take his wrist gently.

"Jaejoong, please?"

"We've said what needs to be said, there's nothing left to talk about and there's no way for compromise." He says. He makes the mistake of looking at Yunho. And then Yunho is pulling him forward, kissing him hard on the lips. He pulls away forcibly and slaps Yuho across the face. "You just made me hate you, just so you know." He hurriedly steps out of the car, not caring if his face is flushed and his heart is racing.


"Jae, I'm running out of button-downs… Where are they?" His husband shouts from the bedroom, echoing through the whole penthouse but muffled by the thick walls. Jaejoong shifts from his position on the couch and bellows a reply, "I don't know, wear the new ones I got you!" He stands and runs up to the other man, "They might still be in the laundry. I'm sorry, I'll wash them up today," he adds, thinking aloud, "How many weeks have I been forgetting to wash the laundry?"

"Can't you just send them to the cleaners?" his husband replies, concerned. “But that's gonna be a lot, now, plus your clothes."

"No, dear. I won't do that, they don't care about wash instructions, you see. And I don't want you prancing around the office in deformed or washed-out dress shirts."

"Oh! And another thing," the other man stresses, directing Jaejoong's eyes to his and then down at what he's wearing, "as much as I like seeing you in my clothes, please, please lessen wearing my favorites at home?"

"It’s time for new favorites, love," Jaejoong grins, "That's why we went shopping last weekend."

"But, Jae, baby…"

"What? You've been wearing the same things for months!" The fashion follower in him argues, "Seasons change, so does your wardrobe! Trust me, it helps in promotion. You have to keep being top of the line in performance and in appeal." He grabs a pale teal blue polo from an open Prada paper bag and positions the sleeve holes behind the other's arms.

"What. Why…how do you always know what to say to change my mind?"

"I'm your husband, of course, I know. Don't question how great I am." Jaejoong tells him matter-of-factly as he buttons up the polo and places a dark gray tie around his neck, tying it as well.

"I love that about you," a smile spreads across his face, "Your confidence, plus, your certainty at everything even the littlest details." He moves to fix his coat to finish the ensemble, "And I almost lost all of you because I never told you any of that." Jaejoong lifts his gaze from the cufflinks for a while to give him a peck.

"I love you too," He smiles and hugs him tight, "Can I drop by your office at lunch if I get bored?"

"If you get bored? Why not just drop by because you miss me all of a sudden?"

"Whatever, that's too cheesy."

"No, it’s saying it as it is. Don't hide behind your words."

"That's cute." Jaejoong answers sarcastically, "Take me out to lunch, that's what I'm saying. And then we won't go back to your office because I'll drag you home to spend the rest of the day in bed. Is that enough 'saying it as it is', love? I remembered I'm not done showing you how much I've learned from those dance lessons you forced me to learn, am I?"

"That, yes, you owe me a few dance numbers and that idea is enticing, but they have to wait until after my meeting with the Board."

"Oh my, it’s today?" His husband nods, a mildly nervous smile on his lips, "Well, then I'll wait here and then…" Jaejoong slithers into an intoxicated reverie.

"Anyway, I have to prepare last few things before that, so I'll get going." He kisses Jaejoong on the forehead and then on the lips and embraces him before making a move for the front door, "Thanks for not distracting me the whole week for this!"

Jaejoong steps back, a smile on his face. He’s put dancing behind him, and along with it, the dance instructor.


A/N: This story is based off of an adopted plot from [ profile] ko_bands. I hope you like it and I'm sorry it took forever for me to write. Thanks for letting me write it, too, by the way! :) Also, many thanks to [ profile] ink_river10 for beta-reading this story, you're awesome! :)

Date: 2011-12-20 08:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
although i felt sorry for yunho, i am happy that you made jaejoong get back with his husband. it fit the realistic tone that you were going for. I could understand jaejoong and yunho's actions. This was very well-written.:)

Date: 2011-12-21 05:47 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-12-20 08:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
... :( It was good but now I'm sad. YunJae didn't end up together. :( I wanted them to. And Yunho, my bias! Wae?!

Well, it was good though. Thank you for writing it ^^ It was nicely written, too. Made me really sad T.T

Date: 2011-12-21 05:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I see you've changed your mind over the time I've written this... Lol but thank you again and I'm sorry for making you sad...

Date: 2011-12-21 07:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
no it's okay XD actually, from the beginning I wanted them to get together. I never read stories that they don't O.O They make me depressed DX I should have put that in the plunnie I posted, sorry. BUT!! I do like this :) The only thing is that Yunho was left heart broken and lonely. He's my bias, so I was like "NO!!! YUNHO!!!!" I kept hoping that he'd move away or something to find a new life. But, besides that, it was good :) I liked it. Don't mind my yunho-protectiveness, it's just gotten really strong in the world of Jaejoong-lovers XD

Date: 2011-12-21 07:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It is heartbreaking to read and write broken!yunjae but sometimes, I can't help it either. Lol I'll give you a happier Yunho some other time. :))

Date: 2011-12-21 11:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
This is a refreshing change...never would I expect the ending but I really like it...cause it shows the realistic feel of what to expect from the 'outside' world.....that Jae will go back to his husband. Marriage is never easy and keeping it alive is harder...and both Jae and his husband are doing that...making an effort to make their marriage work. I applauded to that..sorry to Yunho......^-^

Date: 2011-12-22 09:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
This exactly. Thanks for reading! :)

Date: 2011-12-21 02:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
oh oh. This is epic. So sad for Yunjae. But nevertheless I like it. great job.

Date: 2011-12-22 10:00 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-12-21 02:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Poor confused Jae.
At least in the end, he changed himself and decided on what he wanted.
Even if it meant not being with Yunho who made him feel passion.

Date: 2011-12-22 10:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thanks for reading! :)

Date: 2011-12-22 01:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
First I thought Yunho was the husband, and when Junsu approached the tall and handsome dance instructor I assumed if Yunho was the husband the other can't be anybody else but Changmin... but then it turned out Yunho was the dance instructor!

I really enjoyed the story and actually it made me happy how at the end they were able to rescue the marriage, and not only Jae but also his husband made efforts to make the marriage work. And the scene at the end when he complained about Jae wearing him favourite clothes was so lovely.

But still I'm so sad for Yunho, I know Jae never deceived him and never promised anything but still left him with broken heart.

Thank you for the beautiful story! Image

Date: 2011-12-22 02:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you very much :) I'm glad you enjoyed it, too!

Date: 2011-12-23 04:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
(︶︿︶) ♥

as far as i love how Jae is happy but i still feel bad bout Yun.. ;__;

Date: 2011-12-23 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
the guilt is eating me alive. i felt a little bad for him while writing this, but no, i can't help but make it as realistic as possible.

thanks for reading! :)

Date: 2011-12-23 05:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
The story left me confused but oh well...
If I would be on JJ's place I dunno what I would do myself so...

Date: 2011-12-26 11:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thanks for reading! :)

Date: 2011-12-27 01:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Let me just type this one out really quick: WHAT IS UP WITH BROKEN YUNJAE?!

Nah, I'm kidding with the fake rage LOL XD The angst was dead-on awesome! Plus the whole story was filled-in. I love this! Awesome you!♥

Date: 2011-12-27 06:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
LOLOL We need the broken!YunJae once in a while. Just kidding~

Thank you, man! :D

Date: 2011-12-27 06:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
We do need broken!OTPs once in a while :") This is fantastic!

Oh shizz, my reaction to "Thank you, man!" was "/cry I'm woman!" LOL :")

Date: 2012-01-02 09:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
for a minute there i thought yunho was the husband..

what?!?!?!? it ends just like that? *LASLAS* *CREYS*

btw. sino ang husband? lucky him...

Date: 2012-01-02 10:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yes, it ends there. It's not the reality you wanted, is it?

Well, I left it unknown so I won't go biased on one side. Hehehe

Date: 2012-01-02 10:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
i actually thought yunjae was gonna end together.. laslas.. *sulks in corner and dies*

Date: 2012-01-02 03:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm sorry for the broken!yunjae then...

Date: 2012-01-25 04:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
the fangirl in me is crying cos Yunjae did not end together.
But love and lust is a very similar things. Very hard to differentiate just like how love and hate is. But i kinda glad that Jae did not simply follow what he wants. and as much as he loves and enjoyed the time with Yunho., it doesn't mean they will stay that way forever. And jae's married. so of course no matter how good or bad his husband is, it's all between them. and it's up to them to solve it/ finding new love and getting divorce is obviously not a good thing. i'm glad jae has a wonderful husband who forgave him for whatever had happened and work things to make their marriage better. And junsu as a friend, i wish to have friend like him. :) He's one of the reason that brings Jae back on track and one who make him realise which is much more important.

most of all, i love how it ends. honestly, no matter who the third person is, i really don't want the marriage to be broken unless of course if that hubby is a man with unacceptable behaviour. <3


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