Fall's first dusk
Sat, Jun. 12th, 2010 09:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
allnostalgiaI walked past a roll of dancing dried leaves at fall's first dusk. I didn't know if it was just me but everything was sepia in my vision and it made me feel loneliness all of a sudden. I missed being in a relationship, I figured when I felt my heart sink a little when a couple passed by as I sat down on an empty park bench.
It's been over a year since my last unsuccessful relationship and I don't feel a tad bit sad about its end for as long as I can actually remember. Since then, I've told my self to wait and just let things happen for a change. And so far, nothing's really happening and now I'm feeling this longing to be held in arms that makes you feel secure with unspoken promises of protecting you always.
Yunho breathed deeply. Suddenly, his train of thought was interrupted by a melodious voice, "Looks sepia, doesn't it?"
He sat up properly and looked at the stranger with eyes full of mixed expressions. Shock, curiosity, and a glimpse of happiness. He coughed when he realized he wasn't replying, "U-uh... Yes. You see it too?" And then he smiled as the stranger turned his head to meet his gaze.
"Actually, its the feel of fall's dusk that amazes me more." he smiled back as he fixed his glasses on the bridge of his nose, "Jaejoong. Kim Jaejoong," then stretched out his hand.
"Jung Yunho," he replied and took his new acquaintance's hand to shake it. "So, what is it about dusk that gets to you?" Its funny how you feel more comfortable with a complete stranger despite all the friends you have. What's even funnier is how willing you become to share your time with him. And what's weird? You don't want to leave because you fear that you might not see him again. He wanted to see him again. His face glowed and his red lips contrasted it gracefully. His smile was quite hypnotizing and-- wait, stop.
"I'm not really sure..." Jaejoong answered, "Have you experienced that?" he paused, his pace was slow as the soft breeze that brushed his beautiful face. "Liking how something feels but you can't quite put a finger on why you do..."
"Yes, I think I have." Yunho thought a while about his answer, "Being in the presence of an interesting stranger. I like it a lot." He felt the unwavering gaze of the man on the other end of the bench on him.
His face is unbelievably calm, his aura felt mysterious, honestly handsome too. Jaejoong thought. Sly and quite refreshing. Different. Curious. An incredibly good looking flirt. What? Stop. "And the smell of the grass when it just rained." He looked away.
Yunho nodded, "Androgynous people." Jaejoong chuckled and left the heavy conversation hanging, "Yes?"
He shook his head, "What else is there?"
"The smell of old books and brewed coffee."
"Neon lights," Jaejoong thought aloud.
"But when you look at them long enough your eyes hurt."
"True, but I still like them."
"This city's skyline-"
"Even when raindrops blur its view from a window."; "Even when raindrops blur its view from a window." They both continued at the same time and looked at each other smiling.
"Its relaxing isn't it?" Yunho asked.
"So is the look of a girl in her boyfriend's home clothes." Jaejoong retorted and Yunho agreed with a hum, "Do you... feel lonely?" Jaejoong suddenly went off topic.
"Uh-a while ago, yes." Yunho answered in all honestly, "Why do you ask?"
"I don't know how I feel these days. I think I'm looking for something somewhere but I don't know what it is. I feel like escaping and live freely somewhere else. Somewhere far from here." he explained slowly.
"Sounds like you're lonely too."
"Think so?" Jaejoong looked up to the purple sky with a gently smile on his face, "Now, I don't know if I'm happy I know what my feelings are called or sad to find I'm a lonely person."
"Well, how do you want to feel?"
"Contented."
"What do you think will make you feel that way?"
He turned to look at Yunho's breath-taking side profile, "Conversations that make me think. Or Amsterdam, maybe."
"There you go. Now, you know what you're looking for, eh?"
"I guess," he nudged in his seat and put his legs up, "What kind of person do you think I am?"
"Hu- What?" Yunho looked back at him.
"I mean, an impression I gave you."
"Oh... Well... I think you're eccentric." Yunho observed his face and waited for his reaction.
"I see." Jaejoong looked away.
"I mean, interestingly eccentric in a really good point of view." Jaejoong sighed as if he was relieved at the other's perception of him.
"Yunho. You can go ahead home if your tired."
"Uhmm... Jaejoong-sshi?"
"Jaejoong is fine." he chuckled. "What can the lonely person help you with?"
"I was just wondering if... Uhmm... I-if I'll see you again."
"Do you want to?"
He looked down on his shoes and scratched his nape, "Y-yes, actually."
"Talking to you made me feel contented, thought you ought to know." Jaejoong didn't know what to say to the other boy.
"Well, are we going to see each other again?"
"Why would you want to meet me again?"
"Because I'm really interested in you." Yunho rethought of what he just said, "I mean, you're different and I want to get to know you." He said it, there's no taking it back.
"Really?" Jaejoong knew he didn't mean to say it like that and mean it that way too but it came across as that.
"And you took away my loneliness without me knowing." Might as well say it all, Yunho thought.
"Curious." Jaejoong switched the topic off him.
"What?"
"That's my first impression of you." he looked at him in the eyes, "And I know you're wondering why right now."
Yunho sent him quite an apologetic smile, "You don't like it, huh? I'm sorry."
"Sily." he reached into his coat pocket and held out an envelope to Yunho, "If you want to see me again, or maybe you'll change your mind." He quirked an eyebrow and was about to open it when Jaejoong placed a hand over his which made him shudder a bit from its coldness, "Open it when I'm not in front of you anymore."
"But-" Yunho turned around and quickly took out the folded paper that looked like an invitation. He turned around again to look at Jaejoong but found an empty spot. He stood up and looked again to find the man's retreating figure from afar.
It was a wedding invitation. Jaejoong's wedding invitation.
Jaejoong walked away fast with hopes that the man will never show his face to him again. He knew it would ruin everything. His life was all planned out now. He thinks its too late for him to take a U-turn and just forget what's expected of him. He doesn't want to take risks anymore because he's way too exhausted to begin fighting again. He has given up on his own life, and when you do, it only means that you've given up on love too.
Too bad, Yunho's heart was breaking easily. He thought he'd have his chance at it again. But he was given up even before everything started. What if I went to the wedding?
He doesn't know but maybe that can change everything.
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no subject
Date: 2010-06-12 02:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-12 02:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-13 08:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-13 03:25 pm (UTC)I dont kno~ I just started doing it because I want to comment 1st and then I'll tell what I think about the FF after I read it :D
no subject
Date: 2010-06-14 01:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-12 02:01 pm (UTC)so beautiful :'D
no subject
Date: 2010-06-12 02:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-12 05:16 pm (UTC)OMG it's so beautiful *o*
Really... I love it.
Choice of the words make this all sense... *oh my... sorry, my English doesn't work today*
Thanks for writing~
no subject
Date: 2010-06-12 05:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-16 01:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-13 08:26 am (UTC)I'll write a sequel if I can make time for it~
Thanks for reading, by the way!
no subject
Date: 2010-06-15 11:08 am (UTC)but still you managed to make such a romantic story with such depth
and autumn my favourite time of the year X3
thank you for sharing this!!
*hugs you*
no subject
Date: 2010-06-16 01:50 am (UTC)*hugs you back* :)