Intuition & Commitment [3]
Wed, Oct. 19th, 2011 11:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
allnostalgiaHe watched as his beloved grandmother talked to her subordinates, when they were done, he approaches them with Yunho in tow. “Hi.” He says, as his so-called advisers stand up to greet him, “Hi, settle down.” He motions for them to sit as he takes his grandmother into his arms, “I missed you, Mama!”
“I missed you too! This is quite a surprise!” She says, still a little stunned at the sight of his grandson after a couple of months of him being away. “How’s OJT going?” She asks, sitting back down and suddenly forgetting about the other people in the room.
“Its going well, I’m thinking of applying for that job if they ever have a vacancy, “ he points to Yunho as he explained.
“And who is this?” His Mama asks, “You’ve been too quiet, introduce yourself, are you Jaejoong’s boyfriend?”
Jaejoong actually laughs at that subtly, “I’m Jung Yunho, and we work together at the restaurant.” When Yunho stops talking, Jaejoong looks at him with a sarcastic smile, “You didn’t answer her last question.”
Yunho wanted to shrink and be swallowed by some force at that moment, he didn’t know and it would be awkward to deny something he wanted but wasn’t sure he could have right in front of the person he learned he actually loved. “I- Well… Didn’t we talk about this already?” he returns the question to Jaejoong.
“Yes, we did. I’m just-“ Jaejoong stops talking for a while and looks at his grandmother with pleading eyes, “Mama…”
“You brat! Why did you do that?” She gathers him in her arms, “You wanted him to say yes, didn’t you?” Jaejoong nods fervently, “And may I know what you’ve talked about?”
“After you’re all done for the night, okay? We’ll be upstairs.” Jaejoong apologizes as he looks to the other people around the table before dragging Yunho up to his suite.
Their subordinates just watched in wonder how different Jaejoong’s relationship with his parents is in contrast to his grandmother’s.
Yunho settles in the balcony with a cigarette in between his fingers. Dialing a number on the phone as he tries to really calm down, “Hello? I’m with Jaejoong right now. I don’t think I’ll be home tonight. Just lock up, okay? I have keys. If you need anything, just call me. I- I sort of got stuck in a situation here.” He finishes as his sister tells him she’ll be fine and that he’s got nothing to worry about.
“Its cold out there, come in here.” Jaejoong’s voice was muffled in the thick curtains that blocked the cold air from breezing into the room. Yunho only hummed in response as he kills the ember of his cigarette.
He steps in and sees dimmer lights, the telly was on but Jaejoong wasn’t in sight anymore. He goes straight to the kitchen and finds him there, sitting on one of the bar stools with his phone in hand. “I thought you’d be resting already, “ he says. “In a while, Mama’s coming in a little later.” He doesn’t look at him and he’s fidgeting like he’s keeping something out of Yunho’s knowledge.
“What’s wrong?” He stands behind him, massaging his shoulders as he rests his chin on top of Jaejoong’s head.
“I’m sorry, for a while ago. I got a little carried away. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot, I just- I just want this so bad, I don’t-“ Yunho spins him around and embraces him protectively, “Kiss me,” Jaejoong says.
Their lips collide in a passionate frenzy, emotions dangling on their tongues, with an underlying assurance that things would fall into place in due time. Yunho pulls away, “Just keep one thing in mind, alright?” Jaejoong feared moments like this, when he felt that Yunho was just about to give up on him because they know things could be so simple and yet they can’t make them, “Its fine, we know how we feel about each other but if we show anybody any sign of being rash about things… They would never think seriously of this. Hm?”
“I’m just a little unsure. Yes, Mama’s more open-minded, but still. When it comes to my priorities…” He wasn’t hesitant, he just doesn’t know how to say his thoughts when they’re all jumbled up with paranoia, “What if we become just like every other failed couple out there?” His tears were brimming, he looks up and Yunho wipes them before they even slide down those white cheeks. He holds him in his arms for who knows how long.
“Where’s my baby boy?” his grandma enters the suite, sees them locked in each other’s embrace and she smiles to herself before interrupting them.
“Mama!” Jaejoong shifts and calls her to come closer, “How long have you been there?”
“Long enough to be less suspicious,” she grins, “So, let’s talk, shall we?”
Jaejoong was too young when he began to know about the world, the reality of what was in store for him when he grows old enough. That one day, he’d be married off to another company’s daughter to close a deal shut and undo-able. He thought it stupid, of course, although what he’d done to “rebel” against it wasn’t stupid.
He willed himself to be a reckless child, unthinking of consequences and always into his own world that he had created for himself because maybe, someday, the bigger one he doubted he belonged in would go the way he wanted it. That one day, when he was supposed to be handed his father’s company, he wished it’d never come.
He did what every child thought was grave enough to change what he wanted changed. In his case, his parents’ minds that thought of him as being capable of inheriting the company. He refused responsibilities, did what he was told not to, made friends with so-called lower-class men he was naïve enough to think of real, and played around with girls who were both sincere and not about being madly in love with him. Who knew anyway? That it would take a downturn on its own for him.
He went home one day, more traumatized than he could’ve thought possible. Running to his grandmother’s arms, past his own parents’ welcoming ones. “I don’t want to live anymore,” he says, that unknowing tone still pretty evident, “What did I ever do to them? I only wanted to be friends, why would they do that to me?”
His grandmother had shushed him to calm his nerved breathing. His heart was pounding in the hurt of betrayal and humiliation. He had kept it in his head that he would never trust anyone again when the time comes for new people to be part of his life again. And it wasn’t anytime soon.
He had sworn that same night, to listen and do what his parents told him was best for him. He thought it was better than walking a path he’d never seen before, taking in scenarios he’d only though of evil and impossible but were actually reality.
There was more to one embrace to him than just a petty act, it held a promise. And that scared him with the thought of being what everything Jaejoong was afraid of. What if he wasn’t what the other expected him to be? What if he becomes his greatest disappointment? What if he just wasn’t cut out for what they both wanted?
He watched as Jaejoong and his grandmother talked so vaguely but perfectly understood each other. As this person he’d only thought was surrounded with infatuation, told of how they were serious about what they supposedly have. It felt heavy and the sinking feeling of insecurity was settling on his limbs and he can’t move.
He doesn’t know how but when Jaejoong tells his Mama that Yunho knows him so well and how it would be if they were ever found out. That they hadn’t made stupid promises of forever. That everything they’ve held endearment for is the now, and how it would make things better for them. And that they know it will never be this easy in the long run.
Things turn heavier when Jaejoong confesses how much he trusts Yunho to be there with him when they get to that so-called point of no return because he was the one who understood most.
His grandmother take’s the boy’s hands in hers, and Yunho’s in the other. “None of us have any idea how this will go about. Tell me, are you sure about what you’re getting yourselves into?”
- - -
He wasn’t feeling any better but he seemed brighter, “Yunho,” he calls, and a hum from the bathroom takes his footsteps towards the unlocked door, “Can I?” he walks in, Yunho’s smile making him smile too. He discards his own clothes as he steps into the tub, settling on the other end of the tub.
“What did they do to you?” Yunho asks quite hesitantly.
“Do you want to hear the whole story?” Jaejoong sounded ready to tell him about it, which was quite a relief but why was he so nervous now?
“If you’re comfortable with that.” He would’ve been asking himself that too.
“It started when they all realized I wasn’t an ordinary kid,” he began as he played with the surface of the water, “I never told them I was the only legitimate son of my dad, so they never knew where I got all the toys and gadgets. Even my car, it was too bizarre for them that I drove to and from school. I was still in high school then, so I had a driver with me. But unlike other kids, I didn’t want to sit in the backseat, I had always talked to hyung and he became a father-figure to me to the point I worry when he doesn’t come on time.”
“They started rumors of me being involved in human trafficking,” he doesn’t look at Yunho, too ashamed of it even if they weren’t true, “That I got paid higher because I was probably the youngest, the prettiest and what not. I don’t understand why they didn’t just ask me about it. What was even so complex, then?”
“They never got contented with that and made it worse the day I couldn’t show myself to school anymore because I was too hurt and embarrassed of what they’ve been saying about me. None of it was true, of course. But if I tried to defend myself, they’d never assume I was telling the truth. I let it pass; it took a few good weeks before the issue was, I thought, forgotten.”
“They faked apologies when I got back. And maybe, they knew just how ignorant I was then. I said yes when they asked me to go out with them after class. Little did I know that they’d be making the rumors real-“
“Jae,” Yunho stopped him, “I- Come here.” Jaejoong was stiff; Yunho simply slings his arms around him and slowly urged him to lean into his warmth.
Jaejoong skips a few parts of the story, but Yunho understood why, “It was all out of my crushed wit that I swore to submit to whatever my parents wanted me to become.” He held his hands under the water, “I never wanted to be a business man. In fact, I’m still figuring out what I really want, what I need to be happy.”
“And this is what I got. I brought it upon myself. My parents didn’t even lay a finger on anyone in my past. They didn’t think badly of what I wanted, they thought it was normal for a kid to want company. And they knew I also knew well enough that one day all of that would be taken away from me. Just- just not that way.”
“It was our agreement to send me to a normal school, so I’d know what it was like outside of our society. Too bad, I got on the worst side of it. Its why I’ve never dated seriously.” Yunho started kissing his shoulder gently, and then resting his forehead on it. “Don’t worry about me, I’m all over it now.”
“You’re pretty brave, aren’t you?” Yunho quietly remarks, “You trust me so much.”
“Of course, I do. Doesn’t it make you feel good?”
“It does, of course. As heavy as it does too, though.”
“I wouldn’t bare myself like this to you if I doubted you one bit.”
“You play with words too much, it’s misleading.”
“No, Yunho,” he brings his hands to ghost over his skin under the water, “It’s not entirely misleading. I just want you to take the initiative once in a while.” And he kisses him. It’s becoming a habit, bordering into a vice.
“Are you sure you were ever traumatized?” He teases, as they bathed in more kisses.
“Yaaaah~ Just do as you’re told.” Jaejoong demands more daringly.
Random: Maybe its just me but I really just can't get over that OT5 MAXIMUM
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no subject
Date: 2011-10-20 08:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-21 06:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-02-23 08:16 am (UTC)She gathers him in her arms, “You wanted him to say yes, didn’t you?”
>> awww... ikaw talaga jae... kita mong nahihiya si yunho... ahahhaha
poor jaejae... but on a happier note... yunjae in a bathtub.. all right!! ^^
no subject
Date: 2012-02-23 06:39 pm (UTC)