allnostalgia (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
allnostalgia) wrote2011-08-06 06:54 pm
allnostalgia) wrote2011-08-06 06:54 pm
You're My Star
A blonde boy, right about twenty years at least, was settled under the bright sunlight on the small grassy area in front of the Film Institute building. He sat with his legs stretched, a sketchbook lay in the space between his limbs as charcoal dragged quickly across its surface. On his ears was blasting music, freeing himself of inhibitions and the rest of his worldly worries.
It wasn't insecurity, although it may seem like it. He liked being alone, an outsider to some people, but he wanted nothing but be practically invisible to most. He'd had enough misunderstandings and misconceptions for a lifetime.
He looks up when a shadow looms over him and sees a smiling man holding a camera directed at him.
"What- what the fuck." He stutters and quickly packs up to dash off.
"Hey! Wait up!" The guy shamelessly grips his wrist, trying to be gentle, "Please? Let me introduce myself, I kind of need your help."
"Let go," he sneers, "I can't help you."
"Well, I just need you to be on that field anytime you want," this film student, he assumes, continues, "You'll be my subject for documentary class, my name's Yunho."
He doesn't contemplate on the request and declines more firmly this time, leaving this Yunho behind. Who's presently thinking of how he'd convince the boy to say yes.
A few days later, he's on the same patch of grass, looking exactly the same except he's scribbling on post-its with a ballpoint pen, this time. Not noticing the man approaching him again.
A tap on his shoulder shifts his attention on the person in front of him and he makes for a walk out but fails. "I'm leaving, I don't want you getting the wrong idea."
"No, I-" film boy fidgets on the balls of his feet, hands going into his back pockets, "I'm sorry about last time."
"Oh- Well, okay. Its fine, just-"
"And that if taking you out for whatever treat would make it up to you completely, I'd love to take you to dinner." The persistent man was tall; he exudes just enough confidence and is pretty decent inside and out, if this new impression were something to go by.
"Look. I'm good. It’s okay. I don't need-"
"I've noticed you're always alone." Yunho steps closer, "Again, I'm Yunho. And you are?"
He grunts in growing frustration, "I won't be going on your documentary, okay? I don't want that kind of attention," he waves Yunho off as he turns and speeds through forums of people, thinking he'd actually getaway.
"Boo!" Yunho says into the art student's ear as soon as he catches up to him, "I'll tell you why I want you to be in it, aright. Here's the deal," He explains simply that it was something people wanted to see into. What makes him withdraw from the rest, what made him who he is in other people's curious, rather, prying eyes, and if someone could open up that mystery, it'd be something not entirely new but different on its own terms.
It was quite intriguing for people who see him just sitting around the field, creating simple and beautiful things like its the most natural thing to do.
On a shallow note, people most often wondered how a good-looking boy, and his age too, would prefer to be alone than look for a partner. Igniting a different kind of interest from them.
"What they don't know won't hurt them," he answers, "And for all you know, I'm all that meets the eye. Why waste time?"
"I'll never know if I don't get a chance at this, right?"
His fists clench in annoyance, realizing he better get it over with than prolong the issue. He huffs and then finally agrees, "Fine. Just don't bother me like this! You do your own thing while I try to pretend you're not there." The deal was made and Yunho goes home, saying Jaejoong's name over and over, smile never leaving his face.
He sat on the steps of the Film Institute building facade, waiting everyday for the blonde man to randomly appear for almost a whole week now but he never saw him. Today, he decided to walk around the field, thinking maybe he'd been hiding because it was obvious how much he didn't want this.
Near a row of benches on the far side of the field he saw Jaejoong. His blonde hair gone, replaced by a mop of jet-black locks. The only thing he could think of was how more stunning it looked.
"Jaejoong!" he shouts as he ran towards the boy stuck in shock and almost furious, "I finally found you again!"
"Oh, I thought you changed your mind." Jaejoong replied sarcastically, hoping the other boy gets the hint.
"Is that why you dyed your hair?" Yunho teases, "Because if you did that then I'm honestly telling you that I'm not sorry it didn't work. Only, it made you look more…" he pauses, trying to find the right word to describe the other, "I don't know, but I like it."
Jaejoong tries to subtly frown while keeping the indifferent expression, maintaining the obliviousness of the hyper other.
"So, can I start today?"
"Its not like I have a choice now, do I?" Jaejoong sighs, "Just- You stay far away, please. Make do with that, I can't-"
"Wait," Yunho wants to make this as comfortable as possible for both of them, really, "Have you seen yourself on camera?"
"Yes, and I don't like it. I'd rather be the one taking pictures than be in them. Are you finally getting to the point where you understand that I don't like this at all?"
Yunho nods, "Also, we're getting to that part where I'll make you realize that you look beautiful on-screen. Not that you don't in person, okay?"
That makes Jaejoong all the more shrink, a little insecure and stupid. "Why can't you just find another subject?" Shaking off the compliments he wasn't used to hearing so casually.
"You already said yes, in case you forgot." That smile was so much of a rascal who aims nothing but piss people off, naturally.
"Have you ever wanted to draw something so bad but you can't because you don't have the right inspiration for it? Honestly, tell me." Jaejoong doesn't answer. Yunho knew how to convince him because he knew his craft as well, "How does that feel? I'm pretty sure you don't give up that easily, seeing how great you are at traditional art."
He continues, "Frustrating? You won't settle for anything second because you'd feel like what you do is some sick joke that would drag you down, stick to your name and-"
"Yes, yes, fuck, I get it."
Yunho doesn't smile like he usually does by the end of his persuasion speeches, instead he follows through, "I'm not just saying that because I need you in this school requirement, I'm saying it so you know I can understand where you're coming from."
"You don't have to."
"Okay, let's skip today. I'll come up with something else," Yunho offers.
He wanted to tell him a lot of things. Wanted to say what he thinks of him, how he'd finally take the chance at knowing what really goes on in his head, and try to get him outside of his own world. But its difficult when he doesn't give him a chance, when every time he takes one step closer the other takes a couple of steps back.
It was about trust, wasn't it? That he wasn't there just to build some kind of pseudo-friendship that has an expiration date.
The following weeks were the most awkward time of their lives.
Some midweek mornings, all Yunho said to Jaejoong was to not mind him and relax but the boy can't. He slowly curls into himself and hides his face, trying to zone out of the footage but only growing more uneasy and restrained. Some afternoons, Jaejoong would constantly be scrunching his forehead at the thought of passers by looking at him. And dusks, when Yunho offered to walk him home or eat or something. Then goodbye's where Yunho wanted more than just a wave, a forced wave, of a hand before Jaejoong climbs up the stairs to his apartment, not even looking back.
Jaejoong was in his room, working on a watercolor painting when a thought suddenly creeps into his messed up head. He doesn't know anything about Yunho despite spending time together for a few weeks, but Yunho might just know more about him than he gives him credit for.
He doesn't want to stop spending time with him and he can't figure out a way to say it. Then again, he never really knew how to start any conversation with Yunho, and his replies were always too short, snobbish, too high on guard. It was as if Yunho knew he didn't want to talk about anything. Yunho remained a mystery to him instead of the other way around.
Now that the camera was out of sight, he was back to being actually relaxed. He wonders if Yunho would still approach him when he sees him on that field.
Just then, the man who'd been constantly bugging his mind was walking towards him. This time he smiles and acknowledges him first. "It’s a dump full of editing, I'm guessing."
"Let's not talk about that today, huh?"
"Was I that bad?"
"No!" Yunho sits beside him, relaxed, "I just don't want to be reminded of that now."
He looks away, in deeper wonder, spacing out eventually. The difference was the comfort that embraced them, like instead of being pulled out of his own world, he'd pulled Yunho in instead. "What are you thinking?" The voice that used to order him with a few directions snaps him out of his trance.
"I think it’s unfair." Jaejoong begins his attempt with words, "I don't really know much about you."
"What do you want to know? You can always ask." He badly wanted to ruffle the art boy's hair, "I owe you, anyway."
And there goes the words suddenly disappearing from his thoughts.
"Its up to you to believe me or not, but we're pretty much alike in a lot of ways." Yunho concludes for him as he watches graphite lines on paper grow into a full figure right before his eyes. "I'll walk you home." He reaches out a hand over and pulls Jaejoong up.
Jaejoong stays happy as long as Yunho keeps pretending he doesn’t see the way his eyes wander into his when they meet eye to eye. He grows a little sturdier on the fact he’d learned to accept that he likes Yunho. And when he’s completely in it, doubtless that he’d ever turn away, he’d tell him how he feels. Along with all that, he wishes that the other boy wouldn’t get tired of seeing each other pointlessly like they’ve been the past few days.
“I’ve finished it!” Yunho gets down on the grassy field, “But I don’t want to show you, it’d be weird to watch you watch yourself.” Jaejoong laughs. "Plus, I know you'd be too shy."
“Can I still see you like this?” Jaejoong’s head snaps to Yunho’s direction, “I mean, you’ve been bearing with me because of the film, I’d understand if you’d want your privacy again.”
“Let’s keep seeing each other, like this,” Jaejoong shyly agrees, smiling, “I’d love if we spent time without the camera rolling.”
"is there another side of you I still have yet to learn?"
"Maybe," he shrugs, "I'm hoping its one of those things we have in common."
A/N: Well, I don't have an excuse but I'm not really confident about this one. Hoho
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thank you for reading it, btw!
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actually reading the one in caps. -_-"nah, it's okay! ^^ definitely worth the wait.no subject
Thank you for posting it! ^____^
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This means a lot coming from you because I love your stories! :)
Thanks you!
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It's a good think Yunho's one persistent guy. :"D
Thanks for sharing!
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♥
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thanks for sharing.
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"is there another side of you I still have yet to learn?"
"Maybe," he shrugs, "I'm hoping its one of those things we have in common."
I loved this line....it put a big smile on my face! =)
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brb to read~ ;)
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And I like your writing style; pretty much straight to the point.
But honestly I was kinda hoping for more. xD
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And yes, I'm also kind of not contented with this but if I try to push it further, I've a feeling it would come through that I forced it too much. Hee~ :)
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iamsofuckinincoherentrightnowiwillreadthisficwhenmymindisonitspropersettings ajknfkjahnfdjksfnjkfjakfnkjdsnfkjf
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/o/
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namali ako ng lagay.
oo kunwari di tayo magkakilala. LOL
that's the problem when reading two fics simultaneously. D:
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Thank you though, for reading and commenting!